On Cellphones: Helping Boys Grow Well in a Digital World

Dear Parents,

As summer quickly approaches, with more free time and relaxed routines, I want to share with you some recent findings concerning smartphones, and social media for children. I am sure our 5th and 6th grade parents are hearing, “when can I get a smartphone? EVERYBODY has one!” Don’t buy into that centuries old guilt trip.

The research suggests that it’s worth pausing and thinking carefully before handing junior a smartphone before age 14. A large, recent study published in the American Academy of Pediatrics found that children who owned smartphones before age 12 were more likely by early adolescence to experience depression, poor sleep, and higher rates of obesity than peers who did not — and earlier ownership was consistently linked with greater risks.

American Academy of Pediatrics: Smartphone Ownership, Age of Smartphone Acquisition, and Health Outcomes in Early Adolescence

Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, and other experts in the smartphone-free childhood movement argue that a smartphone isn’t just a communication device; it’s a portal to social media, algorithms, and round-the-clock digital interaction that many children aren’t developmentally ready to handle. Based on these concerns, his guideline is clear: no smartphones before high school, and no social media until at least age 16. Just a few months ago, Australia banned all social media for anyone under 16.

Australia launches youth social media ban it says will be the ‘first domino’

Choosing to wait on smartphones isn’t about keeping your son “behind the times”; it’s about ensuring they have the best foundation for social, emotional, and physical health. As we emailed last school year, here are Haidt’s recommendations for parents concerning smart phones and social media:

• Delay Smartphones: Don’t give kids smartphones before high school (around age 14); a flip phone for safety is fine.
• No Social Media Before 16: Keep children off platforms like Instagram and TikTok until they are 16 to prevent addiction and exposure to inappropriate content.
• Boost Real-World Play: Give children more independence, free play, and responsibility in the real world to provide fulfilling alternatives to screens, notes.
• Parental Coordination: Work with other parents to create a community standard, as it’s harder for one child to be the “only one” without a phone.

As always, thank you for allowing us to partner with you in helping your sons grow in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man.

In the fight with you,

Mark Fruitt